Leveling Out
Life is hard. So many times I feel like I’m running in circles. (Well, maybe walking in circles…I don’t run.) I just feel like I’m not getting anywhere. In high school I always said I was going to go to Freed and grow spiritually; every year I was going to get stronger. But has this really happened? I mean, I have definitely grown, but I feel like it’s more growing and then leveling out for a while…and then growing a little more and leveling out again. But I don’t want to level out; I want to grow continually.
In James 1:26 James says, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.” Too many times I think I deceive myself. I make myself believe that I am fine; that I am growing. The word “useless” is scary to me. Everything I do is useless if I am not really doing what I am supposed to be doing and if I am not really growing. I don’t want my religion to be useless.
You cannot just know what it takes to be a Christian; you actually have to do it. But Christianity is not just a check list of things to do either. Christianity is a lifestyle. It is who you are; it is your identity. First and foremost I am a Christian. I need to stop living like Heather and start living like a Christian. Putting forth the effort every minute of every day is so hard, and I have been letting myself level out again. There are so many things that I let get in the way. I have got to make a conscious decision every day to do what is right, and to stay on the path that leads to where I want to be. And when I am standing in the presence of God none of the things seem important now will matter. Although it is so hard, it will definitely be worth it in the end.
